BOOOORN IN THE USA, I WAS…oh, sorry.
A new $4bn US ‘stealth’ warship can go into battle almost undetected, thanks to a breakthrough in playing Bruce Springsteen tracks a little quieter.
“Until now, the US Navy has struggled to stealthily police the world’s oceans”, explained marine engineer Chuck Cousteau, “without the enemy picking up traces of ‘Born in the USA’.”
Using a special graphene ‘towel’, the new vessel can ‘muffle’ its PA system, allowing the destroyer to creep around as quietly as a modest jazz frigate.
Filed under Technology, War
Fingers were added at a later date
A debate between religious leaders and scientists has broken out today over the validity over a piece of space rock that appears to show the face of Jesus. Henry Slater, a leading scientist from the village, has been studying the rock closely over the past two weeks.
“The specimen is believed to have come from the ‘Terra Viam Horti’ part of the Milky Way and has hurtled millions of light years across the galaxy to land in Harold (near Dunstable), but to have travelled all that way to earth could only be down to some divine intervention” Mr Slater explained.
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