Tag Archives: Owen Smith

Labour MPs achieve Guinness Book of Records recognition for ‘world’s worst political coup’

guinness-recordLabour MPs who attempted to topple Jeremy Corbyn achieved a victory of sorts after the Guinness Book of Records recognised them for conducting the world’s worst political coup.

Guinness World Records spokesman Jamie Clarke said the benchmark for disastrous coups was Operation Valkyrie where the plotters both failed to assassinate Adolf Hitler and got themselves all hung like cattle from piano wire. But the Corbyn coup was a worthy new record holder for its sheer sustained ineptitude and for it so spectacularly achieving the opposite result to that intended.
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Bono proclaims he will heal Labour

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Rejoice for He is among us

There is relief today as having heard the cries of a people suffering without an Opposition, Bono has descended and promised to fix this heaving shambles pronto, like.
“No more division. All is needed is one beautiful, humble voice. It’s time for Bono, let Him speak,” said Bono. “Guys, I feel your pain and just like Africa I will heal it.” Continue reading

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Jeremy Corbyn endorsed by both the Judean People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judea

People's Front of JudeaJeremy Corbyn has shown his unifying credentials after obtaining endorsements from both the Judean People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judea, after earlier being endorsed by the Campaign for a Free Galilee and the Judean Popular People’s Front.

The Judean People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judea haven’t seen eye to eye for over 2,000 years, but both groups agreed the Tories and Blairites are far greater threats than Pontius Pilate and the Romans ever were as they threw their combined weight behind Corbyn.
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Even a poll of all the Owen Smiths shows Jeremy Corbyn winning

Owen Smith lagging badly in the key 'Owen Smith' demographic

Owen Smith lagging badly in the key ‘Owen Smith’ demographic

Jeremy Corbyn comes out as the preferred Labour leader even among people named ‘Owen Smith’, according to a new poll.

The Dunstable University poll showed Corbyn with a 20 point lead over Smith among Labour Party members generally, and a similar lead among Labour members whose last name is ‘Smith’. But it was a surprise to find out even the ‘Owen Smith’ demographic overwhelmingly supports Corbyn, according to Professor Brian Rodgers.
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Jeremy Corbyn shot Bambi’s mother claim Labour MPs

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We’re still not over it. Saddest. Thing. Ever

Furious Blairite Labour MPs have made their most damaging allegation yet against nice-cup-of-tea-and-a-sit-down in human form Jeremy Corbyn by accusing him of shooting Bambi’s mother.

“Of course he did!” thundered Owen Smith. “This heinous act is entirely in keeping with a man who is utterly lacking in morality. Equality, social mobility, peace, redistribution of wealth, making deers orphans: these are his core values and not one of them has a place in the modern Labour party.” Continue reading

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“£4.5Million? Great value” says Blair as 180,000 new members mysteriously sign up from same IP address

“It feels just like the old days”

A giggly Tony Blair was seen yesterday, waving his credit card in the air and shouting “Let’s see you match that, Corbyn!” as security staff tried to ease him back into his home.

The former PM explained that he got the idea of multiple membership from Tories who signed up for £3 last year and voted for Jeremy Corbyn.

“Cherie and I hit the phones on Tuesday morning. We started at Adam Aardvark and reached Zebedee Zidane by Wednesday lunch. Continue reading

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