Labour MPs achieve Guinness Book of Records recognition for ‘world’s worst political coup’

Labour MPs who attempted to topple Jeremy Corbyn achieved a victory of sorts after the Guinness Book of Records recognised them for conducting the world’s worst political coup.

Guinness World Records spokesman Jamie Clarke said the benchmark for disastrous coups was Operation Valkyrie where the plotters both failed to assassinate Adolf Hitler and got themselves all hung like cattle from piano wire. But the Corbyn coup was a worthy new record holder for its sheer sustained ineptitude and for it so spectacularly achieving the opposite result to that intended.

“At least the bomb plotters managed to injure Hitler – the only thing the scheming Labour MPs managed to do is substantially strengthen Mr Corbyn’s position. And being hung from piano wire would be a merciful release compared to the ongoing public humiliation that awaits Benn, Eagle, Smith and co” said Clarke.

Mr Clarke said such was the talent of the Labour MPs, further world records were in their reach such as ‘Biggest failure to spot an emerging social movement’, ‘World’s least sincere call for unity’, and ‘Most grovelling attempt to get your old job back’.

The Guardian newspaper celebrated the Labour MP’s ‘worst coup’ record saying it showed they backed winners, a comment Mr Clarke said reinforced the newspaper’s credentials for the ‘Most consecutive days of amnesia about your left-wing origins’ world record.