Tony Blair has moved to Harold and opened a traditional little warmongers, with organic biological weapons and free-range dossiers a speciality.
But locals are worried that the business could affect house prices, particularly if a bomb should go off.
‘Deng of Iniquity: Warmongery to the discerning despot’ has taken over the premises of Harold’s cancer research shop. It’s also been knocked through to the neighbouring chippy, after Blair heard that ‘The Stephen Fryer’ held large stocks of oil.
Some residents have been more welcoming to Blair than others; Cllr Ron Ronnson was one of the first to greet him. “Lovely to meet you, did you bring any money?”, Blair joked. “I won’t shake hands if you don’t mind. I’ve got blood on them.”