Pfft and harumph
Boris Johnson’s wife Marina Wheeler has triggered Article 50. They have been in a union for 25 years but Marina now insists it’s time to take back control of her borders.
“He thinks he’s Big Daddy,”‘she said, “but in truth he’s just a Giant Haystack.”
Dubbed ‘Bojexit’, the divorce is already proving controversial, with Boris withdrawing his earlier complaint that Marina was costing him £350 million a week.
“Surely, marriage means marriage,” said Harold pensioner Doris Kettle. “How come they get another vote on it?”
Kids are being urged to take back control of their bladders
Harold’s children have been asked to stockpile bottles of wee, in readiness for Nigel Farage’s nationwide tour promoting the wonderful benefits of a damned hard Brexit.
“It ticks several boxes,” said Harold headteacher Alison Lee “recycling single-use plastic bottles, building community by working together for a noble goal and of course, expressing our appreciation for being royally fucked-over by an angry commodity-trading Continue reading
A whiff of Alan B’stard, do you think?
Deeply unattractive people, of the kind that you’d cross a busy main road to avoid, now think that Voting Leave wasn’t daft enough, and are dead-set on making the process even more bloody awful than it has to be.
Dominic Raab, who wanted another referendum if his Vote Leave side had lost, is now as keen as mustard to make the situation as shitty as possible, as soon as possible, Continue reading