McCririck may have lied on his CV when he claimed to be ‘not all that weird’
Channel 4 has hailed their sacking of John McCririck as ‘striking a blow against oddballs’, and has urged others saddled with irritating weirdos to do the same.
Turning up for work each day dressed some sort of ‘shit Doctor Who’, no-one can remember how McCririck ever got past the interview process.
But while European law was supposed to stop employers treating normal people like disposable scum, there are fears the same protection has inadvertently been extended to nut-jobs.
“With his hand-tourettes and hair stolen from a badger’s pubic region, no-one in their right mind would justify keeping McCririck”, said a C4 executive.
Unfortunately for the broadcaster McCririck turned out to be quite old. That meant he could claim he wasn’t sacked for his abrasive personality, but because he might die fairly soon.
You can lead a horse to munchies…
A new racecourse has been announced by a local council looking to take advantage of the recent trend in drugged up horses. The new type of racing will see the animals ‘under the influence’ competing to get to the finish line, where they will be rewarded with some ‘munchies’.
“Most races will be over a mile, but the track will be the widest in the country, allowing the horses to stagger from side to side” Joan Smith, head of ‘The Joan Smith’s Grand National’ project told us. “To ensure sure that all is fair, the jockeys will also be required to be high before taking their charge, which leaves the door open for an early return for Frankie Dettori”
The final 3 Furlongs here…
Concerns for the safety of the horses running in today’s Grand National have been heightened by a last-minute change to the course, namely the addition of the controversial new “Level Crossing” fence.
The fence, which animal rights campaigners are calling ‘a timebomb waiting to happen’, consists of the seemingly trivial obstacle of a pair of standard-gauge British railway track rails, complete with sleepers and light ballast. More contentious, however, is the fact that at random intervals a 240-ton Class 31 diesel locomotive express train will use said track to thunder across the racecourse without any warning, instantly killing anything in its path.
Read more Here…