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Electorate demands: ‘Can we see the real candidates now?’

miliband muppet

The man that does the lips previously operated Jabba the Hut’s ringpiece.

With less than a month to go until the most dismal general election for decades, voters are pleading with the establishment to show them ‘the proper candidates now’.

Fed up with a wall of cartoon morons who you wouldn’t leave alone with your children, voters think it’s about time they came clean and showed us the real people.

“They spend a lot of time trying to look normal, some of them even pretend to eat”, said Harold’s Pippa Delaney. “But you can tell they’re just puppets because their eyes don’t work properly.”

Concerns were raised when a still-crumpled Cameron was emerged from a box on a bus in Wales, and a muddled-up Miliband was filmed blinking with his mouth.
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Miliband ‘furious’ after prank Kim Jong-un haircut


Ed tried to keep Mili-un hair status a secret.

Labour leader Ed Miliband is said to be ‘incandescent with rage’ after a disgruntled stylist left him with the hair of a brutal dictator.

Miliband has been closely attended by a team of image consultants and media advisors since he purged his brother David from the party, in an attempt to make him seem wishy-washy, bumbling and odd.

But insiders have occasionally hinted that Miliband is a ruthless and shrewd politician who will stop at nothing to become a supreme leader.
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