No I don’t play the piano, just give me the wire
Paulo Di Canio, the Italian firebrand and fan of Benito Mussolini, said he has mixed feelings after being sacked by Sunderland FC.
“Obviously I am unhappy with being sacked, but my decision to buy all the piano wire in North East England is looking genius.”
Di Canio, who doesn’t play the piano, said he first realised his position was under threat when 30 strong groups of Sunderland fans started surrendering to lone policemen.
“It was clear the fans had lost their bottle, our chances of invading North Africa were pretty slim if we couldn’t slightly alarm the likes of Crystal Palace and West Bromwich Albion.”
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Talented bunch aren’t they?
The row over the appointment of Benito Mussolini as manager of Harold Thursday continued today, with the Harold Minors’ Association threatening to remove several pieces of graffiti from the club’s ground in protest at the long-dead fascist being given the job.
“We have proudly supported Harold Thursday for a number of years but feel that some things are more important than football. If we do not get a full explanation from the club we will be asking for the return of a number of pieces of graffiti, including the famous ‘Gaz M is a nob’ piece on the rear wall of the changing rooms.” said 15 year-old Dave Jumper, general secretary of the Harold Minors’ Association.