The slippery bastard didn’t even ask for any paternity tests.
People who assumed Prince Charles was some kind of Machiavellian monster have been irritated by the sheer banality of his letters.
Published under the Freedom of Information Act, the previously secret letters contain nothing more than balanced, intelligent advice.
“It’s annoyed me, I just assumed we’d dig up some dirt”, said paranoia expert Nigel Lampoon. “But it’s all ‘Thanks for supporting my kid’s charity’, ‘please give our soldiers proper equipment’, and ‘I’d quite like to save the albatross’. The inconsiderate bastard.”
Filed under Politics, Royals
Prince Harry demonstrates ‘the royal wave’.
Prince Harry has revealed he will be offering hand relief to the homeless, as he quests to fill a hole left by his exit from the army.
‘Happy Ending’ is a charity that’s particularly close to his heart, and was started by his mother when she first met Will Carling.
“For some vagrants, the thought of a warm hand on their ‘little tramp’ is too much to hope for”, explained Harry. “Particularly in the winter, or with fingerless gloves.”
Harry admitted that he isn’t the most academic member of the royal family, but insisted he was still capable of joylessly bringing relief to ‘literally five or six’ hobos a day.
“I’m in a privileged position, I have plenty of masturbatiers ‘on hand’ day or night”, revealed Harry. “But rough sleepers don’t even have a simple butler to fall back on.”
Filed under charity, Royals