This Southern train appears to be in motion, must be a fake photograph
This is the Southern rail crossing the border,
Bringing Charles the cheque and the postal order,
Money for him, nothing for the poor
commuters who stand pressed ‘gainst the toilet door…
Shareholder thanks, letters from banks,
Isn’t Charles a talented boy?
Stacks of cash and invitations
To accept a knighthood or with the PM libations,
Shred the breach of safety situations, Continue reading
Cycling inside a bus ‘even safer than stabilisers’
In response to a shocking rise in accidents involving bicycles, a road safety group is urging commuters to do their cycling ‘inside a bus’.
“Cycling is undoubtedly the best way to get to work”, claimed Polly Harvey of campaign group ‘Two Wheels Good’. “There’s no other way of arriving all sweaty and self-righteous, and with your genitalia accentuated in lycra.”
Harvey insists that with a few simple modifications cyclists will not only be able to clutter up bus lanes, but also buses. “With a bit of effort, a half-decent bike can be lugged up to the top deck. Once there you can pedal up and down the aisle, making commuting safer for nearly everyone.”