Worryingly clean: Families fear they may soon enjoy UK holidays
A shocking rise in the number of UK beaches that have become ‘clean enough to holiday on’ is being blamed on man-made global warming.
With dryer, warmer summers leading to less run-off into coastal areas, some families fear they could soon find themselves vacationing in Rhyl.
“It’s a vicious circle”, complained David Evans, occasional holidayer and amateur climatologist. “Our carbon emissions seem to be causing ever more barbecues on the beach. I don’t want to alarm you unnecessarily, but I’ve drawn a graph to show the trend. By 2020, even Blackpool could be largely turd-free.”
Filed under science, Weather
Brown, sticky and foul-smelling, Harold hopes to compete with Southend-on-Sea.
A meeting of the culture and amenities sub-committee in Harold has expressed disappointment over the village’s failure to win a coveted Blue Flag Award for the third year in a row.
The rejection email cited ‘poor water quality, a general lack of ice-cream kiosks, bucket-and-spade retailers and lifeboats. Oh, and not being located at the seaside.’
But, rather than just record ‘downhearted’ in the minutes, the committee used positive thinking and came up with a proposal to give Harold a better chance of getting a Blue Flag next year.