There was widespread relief last night when it was revealed that the Chilcot Inquiry won’t include any details of Tony Blair and George Bush’s conversations, letters, and notes from the period of build-up to the Iraq war.
“I’m delighted,” said villager Nick Stalling of Harold’s Bravo Company, Royal Dunstable Regiment Rifle Platoon TA. “I served two tours out there with the Rifles. Placing it in some sort of context and allowing grieving families to know the truth about why their loved ones died would only cheapen the whole thing.”
“It was Tony Blair I was worried about,” Rev. Tansy Forster told us. “If we saw what he’d said and written there was a chance he could’ve come out of it badly, the poor man. At least now he’s free to call himself a peacemaker and make millions with his excellent reputation intact. I’ll be able to sleep easier at night knowing that.”
“Yeah, this is brilliant,” said nurse Ærndís Vigfusson. “After five years the official report still isn’t out but we know now it makes Blair and Bush untouchable. It’s good that those at the top can do whatever they like without consequence. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Mrs Vigfusson also said that she was pleased by the silence from the government and from Ed Miliband. “A different sort of politician would stand up and shout at the top of their voices that this is wrong, that Bush and Blair should be held accountable, and that the findings of the Chilcot Inquiry be made fully public and transparent. Luckily they are all equally self-serving and that’ll never happen.”
“I’m glad nothing ever changes, aren’t you?”