Seekers of the truth are today convinced that they are on to something with David Cameron’s behaviour as he visits areas hit by flooding being taken by many as proof that he is in fact a giant lizard.
“He just looks too comfortable in that environment,” said Harold resident Adam Cassidy. “I’ve been watching all the footage of him striding about in his Wellington boots and black fleece then discussing it with my friends on wakeupsheeple.com. Look how Cameron doesn’t listen to anyone and can’t convey convincing emotion when people are showing him their devastated homes. I bet he was itching to cast off his disguise and swim freely with the flood water playing over his scales.”
The idea that the British royal family and those in positions of political or financial power across the globe are twelve foot tall shape-shifting lizards from not just another planet but also another dimension comes from the mind of goalkeeper turned son of God turned professional believer in space lizards, David Icke. Icke claims that the lizards, also known as Annunki or Reptilians, are at war with humanity and pop on their human costumes just to mess us around or in the case of the Queen to spend more than sixty years opening factories and hospital wings whilst scowling.
“It’s the only rational explanation,” Adam Cassidy told us. “David Cameron and Owen Paterson are lizards. Why else would they be so callously indifferent to the harm their policies have caused?”