After a nine month wait, newspapers, television news, internet sites all over the world and now the Evening Harold can confirm that nothing has happened in the royal baby story.
“There was a lady who pulled up in what we believe was a car, and made her way into the maternity ward” our reporter for the Evening Harold at the hospital said. “She was large, screaming and out of breath. Early reports suggest she was pregnant but not the Duchess of Cambridge.”
In another instance of something not happening in this rapid moving story, a person on a bike cycled towards the entrance. The paparazzi in attendance did take hundreds of photos before realising it wasn’t the princess arriving.
The man on the bike looked bemused but continued on his way in a fashion that can only be described as non-dramatic.
We shall continue to bring you updates of nothing happening from outside the hospital before realising she has gone in through a back door, making our presence here pointless.