No one wants to be last in a line-up
High Street sharks have warned that ‘unnecessary’ new Government regulations will force desperate families into the hands of back street sharks.
“With us, borrowers know where they are” said Peter Jackal, Wonga’s Director of Corporate Irresponsibility “Trousers round the ankles, head down the toilet and being right-royally buggered by a set of loveable cartoon characters.”
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Filed under breaking news, Business, News
Fake lawyer worked for some right counts.
People who fell foul of Wonga’s badly made, fake lawyers are already fabricating their own interest rates for compensation.
Not content with using fake old people as well as a forged moral compass, Wonga avoided paying for real legal representation by using a sock puppet with two blood-sucking fangs.
Pippa Delaney from Harold has yet to settle on the final settlement figure.
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Filed under breaking news, Business, Law and Order
The government is to introduce a new law to cap the growth of evidence supporting a cap on the cost of payday loans.
The Treasury says there is “growing evidence” that “growing evidence in support of the move” might adversely affect the reputations and profits of payday loan companies.
Speaking to the BBC, Chancellor George Osborne said there would be controls on the amount of research into payday loan charges, including arrangement and penalty fees and interest rates.
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Filed under News, Politics, Uncategorized
Welby thought it best not to bring his ceremonial crook, or Earl as he is known
As you would expect, the meeting of the Churches first credit union meeting in Harold created a huge amount of interest.
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July 26, 2013 · 1:36 pm
No such thing as a non-deductable lunch
Villagers are celebrating the first green shoots of a local economic recovery, with Harold’s Save & Prosper (HS&P) being discharged from ‘financial convalescence’ on 1st August, well ahead of poorly managed national money-pits like Lloyds & RBS.
“George Osborne would do well to take a leaf out of Harold’s book”, said Rev Tansy Forster, “we’re even one step ahead of Archbishop Welby on community financing initiatives.”
In line with the Archbishop’s new stance on money lenders suddenly being ‘a good thing’, the Credit Union will make affordable money available to anyone who wants it. “Although in line with a more general church policy, that will exclude women, homosexuals and people who have had credit before”, said Forster.
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Filed under Business, Crime, Economy, Uncategorized
These three are keeping their chins up, after losing their house for missing a payment
“Banks are tightening their belts at moment and are very reluctant to lend to people who probably can’t pay them back” Errol Damelin, founder and CEO of Wonga told us. “That’s where we come in. We can offer almost anyone a mortgage all at our competitive APR of 4212%. What’s more is that we offer 100% mortgages so there is no need for a deposit. Mortgages are over 25 years so there is plenty of time for you pay off your mortgage, or to look at it another way, 300 monthly opportunities to miss payments and give us your house. All our customers need to provide us with is a proof of identification and a pulse, or failing that, a the nae of someone they know with a pulse”
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