Uplifting symphony about to be followed by a scab-covered plague rat farting through a dented tin whistle, Barack Obama, is spending his remaining hours in power making the White House suitable for Donald Trump. Continue reading
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Trump to be given toy nuclear button to play with
Donald Trump is to be given a special “training” red button when he takes office in the White House, insiders revealed today.
A spokesman revealed that there were fears that the incoming President might not fully realise the seriousness of the nuclear launch system, and therefore plans have been put in place to give him a toy red button to play with until he learns that pressing it is a bad thing.
“He’s been demanding a red button all day, saying he’s in charge now and we can’t stop him,’ admitted one insider. “So we’ve started him off with a nice bright plastic one with a teddy bear head on the top.”
“He’s been hammering the crap out of that button all day, shouting ‘You’re fired!’ over and over and over…”
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