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Trollitician: Ukip’s Godfrey Bloom reveals ‘I’m a socialist spy’

Bloom before going deep cover as a ruddy-faced bigot

Bloom before going deep cover as a ruddy-faced bigot

Evening Harold exclusive interview:

Godfrey Bloom splashes in puddles. As we walk to Harold café Veggie! Veggie! Veggie! for a brunch of vegan bacon and eggs washed down with foamy glasses of milkless milk, the now ex-senior Ukip politician cannot conceal his delight at being free of the boorish identity he had to assume to fulfil that role and so splashes his Birkenstocks happily in the puddles on the High Street, his kaftan flapping in the breeze.

“It was hell,” Bloom says of his former life once we’re settled in a cosy booth and he’s removed his crochet beanie lamenting over the amount of time it’s going to take for his hair to grow long again, “but worth it. My mission was to penetrate Ukip and troll it by hogging the headlines and when on Friday Nigel Farage said ‘increasingly, over past months his statements have left us in a position where, frankly, what we stand for and what we campaign for are irrelevant,’ my work was done.”

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