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Obama sign language interpreter was actually ‘just masturbating’

Barack Obama

Unknown interpreter enjoying post-ejaculatory cigarette

News outlets worldwide have been left red-faced today after it emerged that the man they assumed was the official sign language interpreter at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service was, in fact, merely standing next to the stage masturbating.

Viewers were at first confused that during President Obama’s address the man did not seem to be using recognised sign language, and this confusion was redoubled when it became apparent that the interpreter had removed his trousers and, giving up all pretence of communication, was frantically beating his male organ.

The Deaf Federation of South Africa told the BBC the man’s signs were “arbitrary”, “did not make sense”, and “he was clearly tugging himself off during the key points of the speech.” Continue reading

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