Tag Archives: Scientology

East Grinstead ‘totally out of bounds for non-Scientologists’ says Fox News

Steve_Emerson_3161482c

Anal terrorism is the worst, Fox News

An American “terrorism expert” on the right-wing Fox News channel has declared that the leafy Sussex town of East Grinstead is “a totally Scientologist” city “where non-Scientologists just simply don’t go”.

Steve Emerson made the claim, which may come as a surprise to the thousands of non-Scientologist residents of West Sussex’s fourteenth-largest town, during a television discussion about no-go zones in Europe where Scientologists are apparently in complete control.

“In Britain, it’s not just no-go zones, there are actual towns like East Grinstead that are totally Scientologist, where John Travolta and  Tom Cruise stalk the streets, beating up anyone who doesn’t look like them, dress like them or make increasingly desperate comeback movies,” he said. Continue reading

Comments Off on East Grinstead ‘totally out of bounds for non-Scientologists’ says Fox News

Filed under Felching Bumsquats, Media, Politics

Tom Cruise distraught after getting ‘Tom Cruise’ in ‘What movie star are you?’ Facebook quiz

"I was hoping for someone taller"

“I was hoping for someone taller”

“I was hoping for somebody taller like Sean Connery, or at the very least Brad Pitt” said a distraught Cruise after completing a ‘What famous movie star are you?’ Facebook quiz and getting ‘Tom Cruise’.

Cruise said he was starting to wonder whether Facebook quizzes were entirely accurate.
Continue reading

Comments Off on Tom Cruise distraught after getting ‘Tom Cruise’ in ‘What movie star are you?’ Facebook quiz

Filed under Entertainment

Scientology couple win right to marry while shovelling all their money into giant hungry furnace

scientology-couple-2

For richer or poorer. OK, poorer.

A couple have won a Supreme Court challenge allowing them to marry in a Church of Scientology chapel in London while simultaneously shovelling thousands of their hard-earned pounds into the heartless maw of a ravenous furnace.

Louisa Naive launched legal action after officials refused to register a Church of Scientology chapel in central London as a place for marriage for her and fiancé Thicko Oneborneveryminute on the legal grounds that Scientology was “a load of slimy bollocks only interested in ripping the money out of foolish people’s wallets until like vampire’s prey they expire drained of every last drop of wealth”.
Continue reading

Comments Off on Scientology couple win right to marry while shovelling all their money into giant hungry furnace

Filed under Intergalactic News