Is that one for the conservatory? Or the suitcase under the bed?
A space probe has revealed that the dwarf planet Pluto is 35% window keys, and could contain up to 700,000 tonnes of phone chargers.
“For years now, scientists have been searching for the universe’s ‘missing mass'”, revealed NASA’s Chuck Weiner.
“So far we’ve looked in a fruit bowl, the last place we had it, and that drawer in the kitchen with the instructions for resetting the clock on the microwave.”
Terry is said to be unhappy with UKIP taken all the glory for his racists
Chelsea captain, occasional racist and former stealer of his team mates’ girlfriends and Champions League glory John Terry has spoken out at his dismay after UKIP appear to have taken a story about some racist Chelsea fans on a train and make it all about them.
“Why can’t we be allowed to have our racists splashed all over the papers without UKIP trying to get in on the act,” Terry explained. Continue reading