Pluto ‘just a big ball of window keys and phone chargers’


Is that one for the conservatory? Or the suitcase under the bed?

A space probe has revealed that the dwarf planet Pluto is 35% window keys, and could contain up to 700,000 tonnes of phone chargers.

“For years now, scientists have been searching for the universe’s ‘missing mass'”, revealed NASA’s Chuck Weiner.

“So far we’ve looked in a fruit bowl, the last place we had it, and that drawer in the kitchen with the instructions for resetting the clock on the microwave.”

Until now, experts have surmised that at the heart of the planet was a compressed, frozen core, made up of those things that you use to bleed radiators.

But the ‘fly by’ from the New Horizon probe has quashed this theory, and explained why you can’t open any of the double glazing in the top floor of your house.

“It looks as though the ‘planet’ has formed from objects that have been lost with such ferocity, they’ve been flung to the edge of the solar system”, explained Weiner.

“And it seems it’s even older than we first thought: Look! That one there is for a Nokia 3310.”

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