Tag Archives: lion

Heimlich manoeuvre inventor dies after getting stuck in lion’s throat

"It's more of a gesture"

Heimlich and Ralph, in happier times

US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96 after getting lodged in the throat of a lion who was attempting to eat him.

Dr Heimlich expired in the Lion Enclosure of Cincinnati Zoo late on Saturday night after undertaking an ill-advised bet that he could perform his manoeuvre on an actual lion before the age of 97.

Spectators watched in horror as ‘Ralph’, a 400-lb Kalahari lion seized a clearly drunk Heimlich in its jaws and attempted to swallow him whole. Tragically, the former doctor proved too large to fit comfortably down the animal’s throat, leading to the death of both Heimlich and Ralph.

“It’s what he would have wanted,” sobbed a friend. “Being the actual object which caused a fatal choking incident, it’s just so appropriate, somehow.”

“I imagine his only regret would have been that there wasn’t actually anyone around to perform his manoeuvre on the lion. But you can’t have everything.”

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Search still on for tiger bite antidote

lion

Terrifying.

A drug that can treat bites from tigers and other big cats is still unavailable, doctors have warned.

Despite lacking venom, tigers and some of the spotty ones can still be a nuisance if they sink their teeth into a handy limb.

“It’s not just fur allergies that pose a risk to humans”, said Dr Evans. “The bite itself can cause some discomfort. Although that’s not to say it wouldn’t be prudent to take an antihistamine anyway.”

Following an attack, the victim isn’t always sure what type of cat they’ve fallen victim to, making the need for a universal treatment all the more necessary.

“If you do get bitten, try and pop the animal in a bag and bring it with you”, suggested Evans. “You might get lucky, it may not have been a biting cat at all.”
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Outrage as hygienist eats ‘Cecilia’ the KFC chicken

cecilia

Cecilia was a ‘one off’, although her sister was a chicken bucket.

A dental hygienist has caused international outrage after eating a much-loved factory chicken called Cecilia.

Cecilia had lived to the ripe-old age of 34 days, before she was cut down in her prime fillets.

Loved by everyone who had seen a picture of her on Instagram just after her death, Cecilia was brutally killed to fulfil hygienist Wesley Evan’s sick desires.
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