Tag Archives: knitting

Health scare at Harold knitting circle as members found to have been sharing needles.


Just say No

Future meetings of the Harold knitting circle have been cancelled following an outbreak of Hepatitis B among the group. Continue reading


Filed under Badgers, Dr. Evans' Casebook, Drugs, Fashion, Health, Law and Order, Lifestyle, Medicine, Police

Promised foreplay ‘failed to arrive’ say WI members

grey wool

Mostly grey and  a bit scruffy? Then four-ply is more likely than foreplay

Yet another problem for Harold WI it seems, following last year’s celebrated mix-up over ‘dog walking’ and ‘dogging’.

“We’d rather hoped those admin problems were behind us,” said WI Chairwoman Jane Fondant “although we did have a welcome surge in membership after ‘The Great 2013 Cock Up.”

Sadly there was fresh disappointment on Monday evening. Locals and visiting members from as far away as Leighton Buzzard gathered in a packed Village Hall, to hear Daphne Rogers’ illustrated lecture on Imaginative ideas for Foreplay.

“Daphne rummaged in her bag then, instead of lavender massage oil and chocolate sauce, hauled out two skeins of wool and a set of knitting needles.” says Fondant “It soon became only too clear she was determined to teach us all about four-ply knitting.”

After last year’s confusion Harold WI had been forced to remind villagers that husbands are allowed only at Invitation Events. “If there was any encouragement to take from Monday evening, it’s that no men turned up, so they’d clearly listened. Or more interested in dogging than foreplay ? No, that’s not very likely”.

Comments Off on Promised foreplay ‘failed to arrive’ say WI members

Filed under Around Harold, Sex

Village’s ‘3D printer’ finishes jumper


With 3D printing on the increase and a Manchester company claiming to have made a pair of 3D printed knickers, Harold’s very own ‘3D printing prototype’ has finally finished ‘printing’ a jumper.

“The project has been going for a while now, but we finally have a finished product” a spokesman for the Over-The-Hill retirement home, which houses the printer, told us.

“The technology is still a bit primitive, but Elsie Duggan, 86, can now knit 3D scarfs, over-sized 3D jumpers and gloves for people with six fingers.”

Continue reading

Comments Off on Village’s ‘3D printer’ finishes jumper

Filed under Business, Culture, Fashion, Lifestyle, News