If you don’t know what it’s for, you’re probably scum.
The Metropolitan Police have confirmed that a man has been arrested for using the wrong knife during a meal at Buckingham Palace.
Security officers moved swiftly to detain the individual, when it became clear he had no idea which end of a posset knife was which.
“A 44 year-old man has been held for questioning, after showing his class during an official State Dinner”, declared Chief Inspector Mutton at a hastily convened press conference. “Our suspicions were first aroused when he fumbled his gizzard tweezers, and failed to inflate a quail in the correct manner with a set of game bellows.”
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