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Cocaine recategorised as Class ABC1

cocaine

‘No’ to junkies, ‘yes’ to aspirational cocaine consumers.

Politicians have called for cocaine to be recategorised as Class ABC1, which would restrict its use to those with a demographic very similar to politicians.

While the use of recreational drugs by poor people has long been frowned upon, MPs and senior police believe ‘now is the time’ to reassess their impact on architects, dentists and TV chefs.

“We want the public to know that casual drug use will not be tolerated”, said Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe. “But smart-casual drug use is fine.”
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