Tag Archives: gluten-free

Man’s sex life soars after advertising his sperm as paleo and gluten-free

gluten-free spermAn unemployed Harold man says his sex life improved dramatically after he started advertising his sperm as paleo and gluten-free.

“It was a bit slow to start with – just the occasional blowy from women with coeliacs” said 45 year old ex-plumber Clive Pickles. “But through word of mouth, most of the village soon knew my man juice was gluten-free and, well, things sort of exploded from there.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Lifestyle

Bread companies introduce ‘Jesus-free’ toast option

The Father, Son, and Holy Toast

The Father, Son, and Holy Toast

Consumer concern about the possible health effects of eating toast containing images of Jesus has led to some bread companies introducing a ‘Jesus-free’ option.

Jesus-free proponents say that traditional toast contains significant amounts of images of Jesus and the Virgin Mary and this can dull the capacity for individual thought and leave people reliant on fairy stories and miracles. It also leaves a stodgy, bloated feeling in the stomach and causes wind.

“I’ve felt much more energetic and alive since moving to Jesus-free toast” observed Harold café owner Pippa Delaney. “I wake up earlier, I have the energy for a decent walk, and I’ve stopped giving ten percent of my money to the Church.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Culture, Religion