Tag Archives: drones

‘I’m just a creepy arsehole’ drone user refutes allegation that he’s a photographer


Searching for this image we found a company that specifically markets drones to children. What has become of us?

Drone user Tim Trotman has hit back at villagers who assume he’s harassing them with his buzzing git machine as part of an art project.

“People keep asking me when they can see the final thing and what it’s all supposed to mean,” a visibly frustrated Trotman told us. “I’m not a photographer or any kind of artist. I got the drone to annoy people and record their comings and goings for no reason other than that I can. I’m just a creepy arsehole and the village needs to accept this.”

Local police officer PC Flegg says that there’s nothing she can do to stop Trotman taking to the sky just to hack people off.

“There aren’t may laws against surveillance any more,” she said. “But to reassure everyone I’ll be monitoring Mr Trotman’s activities on the village’s extensive CCTV network and anyone who’s really worried about their privacy being eroded should tweet or Facebook about it.”

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Fear as village buzzed by military drones

The new summer pest that’s harder to ignore than midges.

Harold was plunged into fear and confusion last night when it was repeatedly buzzed by military drones. “It was horrible,’ said villager, Carly Jeffery. ‘I was in the beer garden of the Squirrel Lickers and suddenly there were these massive planes swooping down on us. They were so low that some people got disorientated and fell over. Or that could have been due to the guest ale. I’m not sure Toss Goblin agreed with many people, it was pretty strong.”

After repeatedly circling and descending on the village the drones disappeared leaving a trail of disruption in their wake that saw llamas escaping from the animal sanctuary and going on the rampage across the recreation ground, soufflé’s collapsing in Veggie! Veggie! Veggie! and reports of serious unrest coming from the dogging community. Continue reading

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