Category Archives: Philosophy
No Deal stuck to the table with superglue confounds Downing Street cleaner
“No wonder she can’t take it off the table,” said domestic Rosa dela Marguerita, “I’ve tried everything, nothing will shift it.”
The No Deal is a far heftier work than The Deal, running to over 4000 blank pages.
“It’s lucky Jeremy didn’t fall for her invitation to talks,” said Diane Abbott.
“It’s obvious now she had this prank set up ready to tell him: Okay, there’s the No Deal, now let’s see you take it off the table. Then she’d do that laughing with her shoulders thing.”
A group of Oxford philosophers were relieved to learn that No Deal was an actual thing.
“We’ve been puzzling for ages over how something that was not a thing got put on the table in the first place. We made the mistake of thinking it was like No Cruet Set.”
Frame photo created by jannoon028 – www.freepik.com
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Filed under Brexit, Philosophy, Politics
Metaphysical warning over Trump Friday the 13th UK visit
UK citizens are being advised to stay indoors and not touch anything on Friday 13 July when President Trump visits the Kingdom.
“Bad Luck and Weird Coincidences are happening all the time,” explained super-meta-physicist Milton Keynes, “but compound that with the Friday the 13th phenomenon and a visit from a madman, then we could all be in big, big trouble.”
“My advice is, stay indoors lock everything and keep still. Above all, do not walk under any ladders or attempt to straighten the hall mirror. Or watch the news.”
Church leaders and soothsayers are urging Mrs May to Continue reading
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Filed under Around Harold, Dating, Donald Trump, Entertainment, Philosophy, Religion, science, Weather
Sense of trepidation flares at Annual Convention of Hermits
The inner peace of live-alone enthusiasts was shattered last night when their AGM was infiltrated by a quiet gang of introverts, intent on spreading apprehension and a general sense of unease.
“It was difficult enough getting the invitations out to the many caves and iron-age huts scattered throughout the land without post codes,” said Lionel Garage, who hosted the event in a barn on his farm.
“Trying to persuade hermits to come out of their shells for a knees-up once a year is a nightmare in itself, but when the event gets gate-crashed by other groups of a-social beings, you’ve got an impotent mix of self-examination in a non-interactive community. It was almost a metaphor for the Brexit negotiations.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Brexit, Europe, Farming, Lifestyle, Philosophy
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