Need no batteries
In a surprising move, Harold’s largest book retailer is to stop selling electrical goods and replace them with books.
James Daunt, the managing director of Musty Books, said: “We were told that paper was old hat and the future was in stuff that could be plugged in, especially from Amazon”.
“So we shifted out the paperbacks to the local Oxfam, and stocked up on microwaves, irons, kitchenaids and nutribullets Continue reading
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Filed under Around Harold, Business, News
Left Twix or Righ Twix?
A relaxed and tanned Duchess of Cambridge has made her first solo official visit since the birth of Princess Charlotte in May.
Sporting a smart new fringe, the Duchess, 33, visited the Anna Freud Centre to learn how the charity is working to help young people with mental health issues.
“It really gave me something to think about, seeing someone so effortlessly beautiful Continue reading
Not even slightly convincing.
A visitor to Harold who was thought to be performing a sex act on her boyfriend when she was in fact just waking him up, has been arrested for leading the village on.
Lou-Anne Buck told PC Flegg “the rules in Harold are bizarre”,
after being detained next to the village bandstand with her boyfriend Barry Marston in her grasp.
Music fans, including children, gathered to watch as the pair appeared to get it on. Witness Kevin Smith was so aroused that he even filmed the couple on his mobile phone.
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Filed under Around Harold
Grylls demonstrates his new bouquet garni rucksack.
TV adventurer and annoying twat Bear Grylls was at the centre of an animal cruelty row last night as it emerged he was specially shipped to an island to be slaughtered by contestants on his show for “entertainment”.
Viewers were distressed by the scene in which the sleeping Bear was captured and killed on camera.
Animal rights campaigners claim the Bear was not afraid of people, and would not have run away when threatened.
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Filed under Entertainment
“I would happily have you boiled down and sold for glue.”
Local police have warned against scam artists using condescending accents after receiving a spate of complaints.
“There have been several cases of plausible individuals door-stepping pensioners in the area”, said PC Flegg. “They appear uninvited, sometimes following an unsolicited brochure, email or telephone call.”
“Having made contact, they then apply pressure to take up an offer, saying it’s only available for a short period of time. They’re clever and convincing, but the old adage applies: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
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Filed under Election 2015
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