After moaning about misspent EU cash, UKIP to repay misspent EU cash


Farage tries to find out which clown had been in charge

“Just because I’ve gone on and on and on about the lack of EU audits,” says Nigel Farage “people I’ve accused of financial incompetence, or worse, have checked up on us and found we’re incompetent, or worse. It’s as if they don’t like me for some strange reason.”

Mr Farage said that he was angry to learn that UKIP had misspent EU funds on campaigning for Brexit.

Calling on the party to identify what sort of clown had been in charge during the campaign, he nevertheless believes it’s unfair for UKIP to be picked on “because others, big boys, had done the same thing”.

Professional photographer and social commentator, David Hawtin responded that “this was a prime example of Ukipocrisy.”

The UK’s Electoral Commission is now tracking the path of tens of thousand of euros, which Farage says is  “nothing to do with the UK, they should leave it to the proper authorities in the EU … damn, no, forget that bit.”

“Faceless, unaccountable eurocrats demanded payments by Christmas!” barked Farage, wiping some spittle from his chin. “Then one one of them said I should go and look up “Schadenfreude” but I don’t have an English-German dictionary, so I’ll have to ask the wife when I get home.”

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