Liam Pot calls Kettles black

“It’s bad news sir, all your gutters need changing”

An awful Pot, with no discernible personal or professional boundaries, has criticised Britain’s Kettles for preferring to play “golf on a Friday afternoon”, rather than buggering up the UK’s economic future.

The Pot had been hiding under a stone for some years, after people found out that he was a shabby, chancer of a Pot. Being shameless however, the Pot assumed that like him, people had forgotten all about his expenses-hoovering, breaches of parliamentary rules, and vewy special welationship with Wewity Wabbit.

So one day, the Pot slithered out from his stone and before long, began to make life just that little bit worse for all of us, popping up on television and radio without any prior health and safety notice.

Don’t be like the Pot, warns Harold psychologist Dr Freya Anderson. “If you’ve no sense of honour, don’t go into politics. Instead, why not tell pensioners their houses have faulty gutters and pretend to repair them for £5000 a pop? That’s something for which you’re probably much better qualified.”