Blairexit: UK to hold referendum on whether to hang or shoot Tony Blair

Britain faces another divisive referendum over the exact method of dispatching monger of wars Tony Blair.

Harold shop owner Julie Kettle says she regrets not being informed enough about the EU referendum, so she’s really done her homework this time.

“I’ve done a lot of research on what is slower and more painful, and the experts seem to agree it’s hanging, though local publican Eddie insists firing squad is the right option as long as they aim at foreign dictator consultant Blair’s nuts. There’s a lot of conflicting information out there but I think I’ll listen to the experts this time” said Ms Kettle.

Leaders of the ‘hang’ campaign insist it is the best option, and point out that a firing squad might all miss Mr Blair with the catastrophic result that he’s still alive. The ‘shoot’ campaign say this is ‘Project Fear’, and voters should ignore such blatant scaremongering.

Not everyone agrees with the Blairexit referendum being limited to two choices, with some saying it would be more appropriate to boil foreign dictator consultant Blair in oil, and others saying Blair should be kept alive in a small cell and made to stare at a montage of dead soldiers and Iraqis to see how long the murderous c*** will keep saying ‘I’d do it all again’.