People who say they hate the Daily Mail still reading it constantly


Every time you click on the Daily Mail Paul Dacre rips the wings off an angel

Despite being the embodiment of no sane person’s values and an enemy of tolerance and reason the Daily Mail remains massively popular with everyone who claims to hate it.

“It’s a disgusting rag,” said local estate agent Gill Gates. “It hates women and relentlessly promotes division. I believe it represents the very worst aspects of our society. How often do I read it? Oh all the time. It’s on my bookmarks bar and I like to keep up with it so I can have lots of stuff to be outraged at throughout the day.”

“I read the Mail a lot,” Captain Nick Stalling of Harold’s Bravo Company, Royal Dunstable Regiment Rifle Platoon told us. “But I do so ironically not like all the other sheep who are reading it for real. It’s abhorrent and as a serving member of the British Armed Forces I utterly reject its frequent use of the military as if our values and ethos are shared. Stop reading it? I don’t want to. It’s so nasty it’s funny and the women on the sidebar of shame are essence.”

We approached tax-evading multimillionaire Jonathan Harmsworth, the owner of the Daily Mail, for a response however he couldn’t speak for laughing.

At all of us.

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