The Nolan family from Harold are recovering in Dunstable General Infirmary today after a quiet evening in front of the telly almost turned to tragedy.
Colin and Natalie Nolan and their three children Bernie, Linda and Marc were watching the musical movie ‘Les Miserables’, when a poorly stifled yawn from one of the children quickly spread to other members of the family.
Speaking outside the hospital, local GP Dr Clive Evans told reporters what had been gleaned from the family thus far.
“What we have gleaned from the family thus far is that around 10:30 last night, about 3 and a quarter hours into the opening number, young Bernie Nolan tragically failed to fully stifle a yawn. The nature of yawns, as everyone knows, is highly infectious. This combined with the unyielding tedium of Les Miserables itself, meant that the family were quickly overcome as one yawn rapidly cascaded into another creating a rare but dangerous feedback loop of infectious yawns among the rest of the small group”.
He went on to describe the family’s injuries.
“The children each suffered severe bouts of hyperventilation while Mr Nolan has a dislocated jaw. Mrs Nolan had to have several fingers sewn back on after she tried to yawn rape Mr Nolan in an effort to break the cycle”.
The case follows the tragic deaths of Harold residents Tommy and Sharon Pearson earlier in the year after complications arising from listening to too many Pink Floyd CDs back to back.
Dr Evans warned Harold residents to be on their guard.
“At this festive time of year as people gather together, great care should be taken to minimise exposure to long, dull, repetitive forms of entertainment. One careless yawn is all it takes. If you feel a yawn coming on, I would advise the immediate use of strong caffeine products, plenty of cool fresh air and avoid all unnecessary exposure to Andrew Lloyd Webber”.
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