“I accept by using Tyson Fury, Britain has won the world heavyweight crown, but at what cost? Innocent civilians had to listen to him sing an Aerosmith ballad” said Corbyn.
Mr Corbyn said he would have led a delegation of Islington peace activists to negotiate with Wladimir Klitschko over a cup of tea. “Once Wladmir saw our anti-violence badges and knew we were serious, I’m sure he’d realise the game was up and hand over at least one title belt.”
“Think what gripping television it would be to see a slow motion replay of us handing over a head injury pamphlet. Mr Klitschko wouldn’t have known what hit him, metaphorically speaking of course” said Corbyn.
For his part, Klitschko said he was happy to exercise his title rematch rights against Corbyn rather than Fury.
“It doesn’t have to be boxing, I’d be just as happy to meet Jeremy in the ring and debate defence policy or economic theory” smiled big Wlad.