ISIS claim responsibility for destruction of ‘superhenge’


An artist’s impression of some rocks, in happier times.

An online video allegedly posted by ISIS has claimed responsibility for the destruction of a stone circle in Wiltshire.

The henge features around 100 giant stones, which have been deliberately toppled into holes and covered with earth.

Archeologists described the attack as ‘fairly easy to reverse’, rather than ‘sickening’, which the media had been hoping for.

In the video, a disguised man bragged that ISIS had attacked the stones with machetes. When this failed to work, they had shot at them, and then tried to set fire to them.

“And then, we brave sons of ISIS simply pushed them over”, said the man. “Haha. Take that, you druid bastards.”

ISIS is opposed to most old things that are made of stone, because as Archeologist Karl Fronzt explained, “they are batshit crazy mental.”

Pagans and other people who like the idea of having ‘Dragon’ in their surname have condemned the attack, and vowed to ‘pop it back up’.

“For as long as there is the Goddess, the moon and the tides, there will be druids and acid casualties who live with their parents”, said Jeremy Dragoning. “You can’t just turn up here and walk all over our ancient monuments.”

“It’s too expensive. Although my mum does get in for free, because technically she’s my carer.”

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