Shirtless blokes, this is not what you look like
The village council has passed a new law ordering men to cover-up when mooching around during the heatwave on account of no one wanting to be confronted by shirtless horror while innocently trying to do a little shopping.
“The High Street isn’t the beach,” said Mayor Rufus D. Jackson. “And the garden of the Squirrel Lickers is not the gym. Villagers have the right to be about their business without having moobs, scrawn, fur, horrible tattoos, spots, and distressing combinations of all five shoved in their faces with all the force and grotesqueness of Katie Hopkins’ opinion on migrants crossing the Med.”
The new law was voted in unanimously at a PCC meeting last night. Although a separate motion giving PC Flegg the right to taser swaggering young men with no muscle tone and their t-shirts dangling from their front pockets was defeated due to no one being able to agree exactly where the taser should be applied.
You must be logged in to post a comment.