Irish pub opens on Mars


O’Bradbury’s: open 24.39/7

Having entirely conquered the globe serving-up Guinness from Brazzaville to Beijing the phenomenon of the Irish pub has gone intergalactic with the first one opening on Mars.

“It’s not too soon,” said manager Cat Magill. “It’s never too soon for a wee place with black-and-white pictures on the wall of people looking really miserable toiling in some fields or slightly miserable watching camogie which idiots think it’s more ‘authentic’ than other pubs.”

“Sure Mars isn’t inhabited yet but as soon as it is then people will be up for the craic. And whenever you go to a new place there’s always an Irish pub. It’s a universal law.”

At the time of writing no other businesses had opened on Mars but there were already plenty of chuggers and Scientologists waiting for passers-by.


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