‘Prince Philip not nearly racist enough for knighthood’, complain Australians

Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s announcement that Prince Philip is to receive an Australian knighthood was greeted with amazement by ordinary Australians, who complained there are plenty of more deserving home-grown racists.

“His affable, good-natured brand of racism is all talk and no action”, said Shane from Brisbane. “As far as I know Philip’s never even lightly toasted an Aborigine, let alone grilled one on the barbie.”

“It’s a literal kick in the guts, figuratively speaking”, according to Shane from Townsville. “You work your guts out making things so unpleasant for immigrants that they cram on a boat to escape Australia and what thanks to you get? Well a thank you card from Tony Abbott obviously, but a knighthood would be better.”

Shane from Cairns said news of the knighthood was almost enough to make him stop trolling Asians on Twitter, but his friend Shane persuaded him to look at the ‘bigger picture’.

“So I found a big picture and looked at it for a while, not sure what the point of that was”, said Shane.

Some Australians saw the positive side of the knighthood, with Shane, a taxi driver from Melbourne, pleased that it went to someone ‘British’ as opposed to a ‘greasy Mediterranean type.’

Prince Philip himself was surprised to learn of the honour.

“I’m to receive a gong from Tony Abbott?”

“Sounds ghastly.”