British music murdered: it was Mike Read at the Ukip conference with a calypso

Grave

In affectionate remembrance of British popular music which died yesterday at Ukip’s hands, 20th October, 2014. Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances. The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Paul McCartney

Ukip has killed British popular music. By releasing as a single a calypso sung by Mike Read in a faux West Indian accent so cringe-worthy it can kill gerbils and stop time then insisting that it’s witty and not at all racist the kippers have killed a much loved but ailing art form stone dead.

The song has the chorus “Oh yes, when we take charge, and the new prime minister is Farage, we can trade with the world again when Nigel is at No. 10” and several verses including “With the EU we must be on our mettle, want to change our lawnmowers and our kettles, our hairdryers, smart phones and vacuum cleaners, but Ukip is wise to their misdemeanours”.

The Ukip Calypso has killed music and is currently number one on the Amazon chart. Initial reports that it may have killed satire too are yet to be confirmed.

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