Bono says sorry his genius can’t be fully appreciated


You’ve let yourselves down but worse you’ve let him down

U2 frontman Bono has filmed an apology for the gift many iTunes users found to be their most unwelcome since chlamydia when all 500 million of them were given U2’s new album.

“I’m sorry people can’t appreciate my genius and the remarkable gift I gave unto them,” he said before raising his right hand and clicking his fingers. “Every time I do this a child in Africa says ‘why is this shite in my iTunes library’ and deletes Songs of Innocence. It’s probably something to do with their ears and such. Together, we can use your money to help these kids to grow and fully grasp the wonder of me.”

“When I think of Africa I remember a saying a wise elder taught me: if a man is hungry buy him a fish, and he can listen to me new album while holding a fish.”

“I had this beautiful idea and we kind of got carried away with ourselves. Artists are prone to that kind of thing.”

As soon as Bono stopped talking music fans took to social media calling for U2 to apologise for his apology and to demand an explanation into how on earth he’d know what artists are prone to.

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