First build slingshot: Angry Birds publisher slammed for redundancy contest

Angry Birds publishers Rovio are under fire for implementing the cruellest redundancy package since Bluebeard. The company is laying off a significant proportion of its workforce having over-hired in the belief that people would never tire of their product. Prompting critics to wonder if they’ve ever actually met people and how they’ve failed to notice that we have such short attention spans most of us can’t even be bothered to properly complete our cheese Vietnam L.S Lowry tropical fish…

Rovio CEO, Mikel Hed, said, “These are difficult times, we can’t just give a redundancy pay out to everyone. If they want the cash then they need to show us how badly. It’s time for Angry Workforce to really play Angry Birds.”

While there has been an outcry at the dehumanisation of executives watching their beleaguered employees run around an empty car park desperately building structures and being unspeakably cruel to pigs there is a chance that it might revive Revio’s fortunes.

“Your Iain Duncan Smith is coming to see us in Espoo next week,” Hed told us. “We’re hoping to win a contract to set up Angry Birds assault courses at every Atos assessment centre.”