Farage anger at pregnant ‘benefit tourist’, Tian Tian

Ukip leader Nigel Farage has launched a scathing attack on Edinburgh Zoo’s possibly pregnant panda bear, Tian Tian, accusing her of getting pregnant just to stay in the UK.

“We are a soft touch,” Farage told supporters. “These bloody foreign pandas come over here, are housed and fed for free and now she is pregnant she will no doubt move out of the zoo, into a council house and receive every benefit going.”

Mr Farage was not only angry at the prospect of the panda family being kept at the taxpayers’ expense but also the affect their ‘benefit tourism’ would have on their neighbours.

“We all know it’s one thing living next to some hardworking Germans, but no one wants to live next door to some lazy, lay-about, scrounging pandas.

“They start by asking to borrow a cup of sugar then before you know it they’ve eaten all of you bamboo garden furniture.”

When asked what he thought about the potential pregnancy coming by way of artificial insemination, he said that it was another case if the NHS being used by health tourists.

His speech then came to a dramatic end. When it was revealed to him the zoo was paying £600,000 a year to house the Chinese nationals, Mr Farage exploded into a cloud of racism.

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