Oh what a lovely war: remembering WWI when war was neat and white (mostly)


Today there’d be a huge social media campaign including tweets from Prince Harry telling people to enlist

As conflicts in Gaza, Syria and many other places continue to rage, the West is commemorating WWI with fondness for an era when soldiers wore neat and tidy uniforms and blew up other mainly white men with the minimum of fuss.

“The First World War was horrific,” said local history enthusiast Joan Hambleton, “No doubt about it, it was a shocking waste of life but at least they had proper battles and things, not like today where it’s all insurgents this and massive civilian casualties that.”

“I’m not racist but,” began Lionel Garage, leader of the Harold Independence Party, “on the news now you see people wailing histrionically in grim places whereas WWI was fought in beautiful green fields, much more sensible, you need space for a good war. Why people keep insisting on fighting in cities these days I have no idea.”

“We did the First World War for G.C.S.E,” local teen Katherine Hallet told us. “They made us write a diary like we were soldiers or on the Home Front for empathy, yeah? Then we watched the last episode of Blackadder Goes Forth and were sad.”

“It seemed like a better war though. I think maybe with war it’s like the Olympics; when it happens on your doorstep it’s much more exciting. I’m sorry for everyone in Sudan and everywhere but what they’re doing isn’t going to make good films. Have you seen War Horse? It’s great.”

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