Cabinet reshuffle: Cameron denies appointing women and badgers out of desperation

Appointed on merit? The new Secretary of State for Defence

David Cameron has denied that his promoting a few women and badgers to the Cabinet in today’s reshuffle smacks of desperation.

“I am not cynically trying to increase my party’s voter appeal ahead of the general election,” he said. “And in no way did I see that lots of people seem to really like badgers if all those petitions I keep getting are any indication, and so thought that employing one or two would appease the plebs.”

“I like women,” the Prime Minister said. “And strongly believe that they can be just as capable members of my Cabinet as the chaps. Especially since I realised that women-chaps can be public school educated millionaires too.”