Gove vows “I’ll find out if someone is responsible for education”

Michael Gove has blamed school governors, local authorities, the Education Funding Agency, Gerald, a lobster from Padstow, Ofsted and teachers for the ‘Trojan Horse’ scandal in Birmingham schools.

The Secretary of State for Education told a packed House of Commons of his concerns about the arrangements for monitoring schools.

“Yes, all those agencies are culpable, obviously. But what a shame there isn’t, say, one individual in charge of our education system.” said the Education Secretary to his stunned audience.

“Someone who could be held to account when things go badly wrong; someone who, having heard rumours that something wasn’t right, simply failed to act; someone who could be relied on to do the honourable thing and resign in such circumstances. It beggars belief that there isn’t a person I can name, blame and shame.

The Education Secretary distrusts the various organisations involved in education, believing they might try to shift the blame elsewhere. He has therefore ordered an urgent enquiry by his officials at the Department for Education, who are to report directly to him.

“If there is a person responsible out there, possibly a teacher, maybe a caretaker, probably not Theresa May, definitely a militant union member, we in the DfE can be relied upon to flush them out.”