Osborne says ‘I respect Nigel Farage, Little Mix, Doctor Who and anyone else who’ll make me seem electable”

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George playing bingo as he does most nights before having a pint then taking the whippet for a walk.

Speaking yesterday on BBC Radio 4 George Osborne abandoned default Tory scorn for Ukip and spoke of his respect for them and for Nigel Farage.

“I absolutely adore them,” he said. “And Nigel is a prince but in a good Prince William way, not an embarrassing does-he-really-have-to-be-king-really Prince Charles way. I also love Little Mix, Doctor Who, whatever football team you support as well as a soap opera, you know the good one that we all talk about lots over tiffin, I mean a mug of builder’s tea. Oh yes that’s the stuff it goes down right well after a hard day up at t’pit.”

Osborne said that he came to realise his deep affection for Ukip in the early hours of Friday morning. That he happened to be looking at the initial results for the local elections at the time was “mere coincidence”.

“My party has the biggest love for Ukip and also for me,” Osborne continued. “And, naming no names, if certain Prime Ministers want to go around ruling out a pact with Ukip at the next election then that Prime Minister might find themselves not Prime Minister before long. Especially as they’re the one who crawled up Duffer Clegg’s bottom.”

“I won’t be crawling up anyone’s bottom, especially as Ukip hate gays, but I will be happy to share a manly handshake with Nigel Farage, Voldemort, or anyone, anyone at all who can make me PM.”

Osborne then brought the interview to a close saying he had to go and read everyone’s favourite book and then do some shopping in “an ordinary person’s shop just like normal”.

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