‘Shocking’ price of England shirts forces squad to play in ‘skins’


Not struggling with a shirt will give Rooney more time to focus on his shoelaces.

England’s football team has reacted angrily to the £90 price tag on their shirts, and are threatening to appear at the World Cup in ‘skins’.

With money tight for the average Premiership footballer, many in the squad feel they have no choice but to play topless in Brazil later this year.

Star striker Wayner Rooney wasn’t impressed with the new design. ‘They’ve not even spelled ‘England’ right on mine, but the teacher has still given it a gold star’ said a clearly angry Wayne.

Roy Hodgson later pointed out to him that it actually said ‘Rooney’. ‘I knowed that’ said the player. ‘Am we playing for Rooney now?’

Ditching the shirts altogether for all their opening matches should help the squad deal with the expected heat. ‘The ‘not there at all’ features help eliminate clamminess and sweat patches’, insisted Hodgson. ‘But if they do get cold, they can always run around for a bit.’

The only flaw in the plan is if England reach the knockout round, and have to play against another cash-strapped squad such as Greece, Portugal or France.

‘I’ve thought of that’, revealed Hodgson. ‘We can just borrow some shirts from our fans if more than 11 show up. They’ll have some, money seems to be no object to them.’

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