Julie Hesmondhalgh ‘faked cancer to claim TV award’


Smirking ‘Hayley’ showed ‘no remorse’

A woman on a downtrodden street in the north pretended to have cancer in order to claim a television award.

Julie Hesmondhalgh, also known by her alias ‘Hayley’, told neighbours and family that she was terminally ill. But after collecting millions of viewing figures and tweets of support, it later emerged that the woman was making it up.

“I really felt for Hayley, or should I say ‘Julie’, it was heart-breaking watching her go down hill so fast and then topping herself off”, said hoax victim Elsie Duggan.

“I’m in a retirement home so that sort of thing happens a lot. But her being in the public eye just seemed to make it all the more real.”

Television authorities have been tracking the fraudster using cameras and a massive award ceremony.

“Despite having cancer and being dead she walked unaided to the stage. She was pretty sprightly for the recently deceased”, revealed Duggan. “And to cap it all she showed no remorse whatsoever. In fact, she looked really pleased with herself.”

Co-conspirator David Neilson stepped up to defend Hayley’s sick antics, even describing her performance as ‘wonderful’. But it was later revealed that full-time actor Neilson also moonlights as a weirdo called ‘Roy’, running a cafe while flagrantly not having a food hygiene awareness certificate.

“I’ve been lied to, how many other victims like me have there been?” asked a tearful Elsie. “When she was dead I had a real soft spot for her, I’d have done anything to have her come back. But now she’s alive again, just the thought of her sickens me.”

Elsie Duggan told us that following the betrayal she feels she can no longer trust television. “You’ll be telling me Celebrity Big Brother is faked next, or Jeremy Kyle isn’t real. I might be old but I’m not completely daft, I can spot the shows that are obviously a charade. I doubt even a moron would fall for Prime Minister’s Questions.”

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