Enterprising members of the public have been left disappointed after attempting to return unwanted MPs along with unwanted Christmas presents this morning.
Many people hit on the idea of returning their local MP along with the new jumper that is several sizes too small, but stores are refusing to refund or even exchange politicians as they claim it is “not their place to do so”.
“We had a man bring in a Dyson looking for a refund this morning saying that it was an unwanted Christmas present.” explained Chris Johnson, who works at the Doncaster branch of Currys, “Nothing wrong with that, this is the busiest day of the year for returns and it was all boxed up and had the receipt with it and everything.”
“The problem was, when I opened it up to check that all of the accessories were still in there, I found Ed Miliband in the box bound and gagged. I helped him out of there and untied him and he bolted from the store shouting something about a new tax on the banks and getting tough on energy companies. The guy who’d tried to return him just shrugged his shoulders and said ‘well it was worth a try wasn’t it’.”
Other stores have also seen similar attempts, with one man from Maidenhead returning Theresa May to Marks & Spencer’s only to be told that he could not get a refund but that they could exchange her for Yvette Cooper.
“I don’t know why I couldn’t get a refund, I had a receipt and everything. Ok, so it was for a Bosch cordless drill from Screwfix, but a receipt’s a receipt.” said the disappointed shopper, “I didn’t want to replace her for Cooper so I’ve just kept her for now. I’m going to stand her by the front door and hang coats on her. Hopefully she’ll make a better coat rack than she does Home Secretary.”
It is not just individual politicians that people have been attempting to return. A group of customers in Westminster banded together and attempted to return the entire Coalition government to their nearest Tesco store, insisting that it is not what any of them ordered.